The Doctor's Journal
by blackcrosskitty
Summary: This journey into my 14th or is it my 13th regeneration? I don't seem to remember, but it shows the darker side of me. Whether or not what I have turned into is for the better, I don't seem to care. All I know is that strike one, two and three, is only the beginning. Hey guys this is my first fanfic and it is about my own personal doctor that comes after Peter. I hope you enjoy!
1. The Doctor's Journal

**Okay everyone this is my first fanfic I have ever written and I really like it, but I am unsure how it will turn out. All comments and votes are loved and appreciated.**

In wandering around in all time and space I find out that there is a lot more to this life then I let on. Friends, enemies, and of course family...family. There have been so many times when that word has hurt me beyond any measure. My pain is part of my life I can't live with it and I can't live without it. So what is a poor, lonely old man to do when his is faced with life and death every second of the day? He runs as fast as he can. He saves who he can and leaves the rest. I don't want to leave them, but what am I to do? Please will someone tell me?! I need to know. Is there any point of even begging them for anything. They ask everything from me and I get nothing in return. They saved me just because they need me. Well I don't need them! I don't need anyone! Expect for those people who mean the most to me. All and every single one of my companions, they are much more than just friends. They are my life support and family...Oh there's that lonely word again. I love them and miss them... But my question of the hour is this. Where do I go from here? What do I do? I'm now alone with no Clara, no Amy or Rory, no Rose or Jack, Martha or Mickey, or even Donna and her grandpa. I'm alone... and this is my life.

In all honesty what is the point of having companions? All they do is get in the way and when you start to really love them they die! Then here I am saving worlds by myself. Well that is over. I am on my 14th or is it 13th regeneration? I'm unsure of that. This time my regeneration took a darker turn. I was an older much more appropriate with my age of 1000+, but when he came to an end I found myself longing to be young again. Well here I am! With long black hair and bright blue eyes, I never figured I would be this. My sharp features where young again! Left handed for sure. Then there is of course the skinniness! Why so skinny? I can't complain though about it can I? No, No I can't. Damn, well I guess I should explain how I got to look this young again. It all started after my regeneration on the clock tower and the time lords gave me a new regeneration cycle. I went about saving the worlds with Clara who after the tremendous shock became close friends again. Up until she finally had too much. She died...I did everything! EVERYTHING! I could stop them and save her, but even I couldn't be in two places at once and she had to be the sacrifice to save billions. Strike one.

After her though I found this young woman about the age of 24. Just a mere child, but she was good company. Her name was Megan, simple and sweet and had a thirst for adventure. She had short brown hair, big brown eyes that held the patience of a saint. Shorter than me she had a hell of a wild side. She wouldn't wait for me to stop things she would get right in the middle and surprising everyone (me included) and would save the day. Then she started to change, and not for the better. She started to want power. Where like me she could turn an army away with its tail between its legs with just the mention of her name. I kept telling her that was impossible and that is not a life that she would want to live. In the end I had to leave her on Earth. She wasn't very happy with me of course, but it was for the better. Strike two. Now this is where it starts to get a bit more interesting.

She not only teamed up with some person who hated me, but she also set out to kill me! The good part is that I didn't tell her that it is really hard to kill a time lord. So neither her or her partner knew that you couldn't kill me fully with just high electric bolts, but they tried only resulting in my regeneration. So from there I was able to sneak up on them and stop them from killing thousands of people on Earth so they could control it. That is not all though. She came after me yelling that it was my fault she turned out like that. I told I only wanted a friend that I could rely on. Just company nothing more and nothing less. The place was on fire and about to explode with me standing in the only exit and Megan stood on the inside.. She begged me to forgive her, but how to forgive someone who just killed you or well-tried to kill you a few hours ago? So I left her I turned my back and soniced to door shut behind me and walked away to her cries and pleas for forgiveness when I had none to spare for her. You don't try to kill me and get to live once friend or not. Strike three. I have lived a far to long of a life to be fooled by simple humans. I am done with companions and humans. After being stabbed in the back by someone I cared about. Then these damn time lords wanting and begging for me to set them free when only it would start another time war. Yeah like I am going to waste my time with that. So here I am sitting in my T.A.R.I.D.S reading a book wondering what planet will she take me next so I can save it and then leave back to my lonely life. Just the way I need it now. Alone and free.

It was about 200 years after the Megan death incident and I was starting to get bored with this life. It was all about saving people and taking nothing in return. Just going back to my ship and heading to the next lonely world that was about to be doomed. So many people wanted no...begged me to let them come with me. I couldn't...I just couldn't do it. To much betrayal was wrapped around this regeneration and I know I can't trust no one, but myself and even then I was unsure if I could trust me. Rule one, the Doctor lies. Isn't that what I always told my companions when I had them? I believe it was. Yet they still trusted me with their lives. How? I always wondered, I lied to them and I hurt them. I hide the truth so they would stay with me and they still would follow me to the ends of the universe and back without blinking an eye.

It wasn't until my T.A.R.D.I.S decided to take me back to Earth. It's been so long since I was last here, but nothing has really changed. Year 2014. No surprise there that she took me back in time. I shook my head as I stepped out of the safety of my ship to this ungrateful world. Why here again! I thought I was done with it over 200 hundred years ago! Apparently not according to my ship. Anyway I couldn't help but take in a deep breath of the Earth's air and close my eyes and remember the good old days. I couldn't help it, so much of my life was spent here and now that I left it, I start to remember why I loved it so much. I landed near a play ground I noticed children were laughing. Smiling a bit bigger I turned and walk towards them when I notice something strange. Wonderful, I forgot that there will be trouble the only thing is, what is that trouble? It could be anything, by now I want to wonder this once great planet and remember. That is always what Clara said right? Run you clever boy and remember. Well I'm not running yet so ill just walk and remember. So where am I? London most defiantly. I look around and saw in the far distance Big Ben. Yup London good old London.


	2. Falling Out of Lines

So now what to do? I just wonder around looking for anymore signs of the aliens that where here to cause others pain. Unfortunately everything was quiet. So I walked around watching the people of London go about their every day boring lives. I couldn't help but to smile a sad smile, I sometimes wish I had that boring life. I remember when I hid from the family of blood, John Smith a normal boring school teacher that fell in love with a normal nurse. To bad I had to come back to save everyone and kill him and ruin her life. I never liked to think about that, but this was one of those lonely horrible days where things I did come back to hunt me. Before I could start yelling at all those memories to go away I heard a scream. Forgetting my problems I immediately ran towards the scream.

"Help me please someone!" Shouted the female voice

"Its fine, I'm here to help what's wrong?" I asked when I finally got close enough to her. She was tall and looked very fragile. Her flaming red hair fell down her back that she had up in a simple pony tail and her eyes, sharp green, I never seen eyes like hers before.

"Who the hell are you?" she spat at me. Ummm...what?

"I'm the doctor and you called for help?" I asked confused at why she was staring daggers at me.

"I don't need any help from the doctor and that wasn't me!" She point up to the stage. "It was her, we are doing a play."

"Play?" was all I could say when I looked around the building. It looked like a normal school building with a stage. Well.. it could have been worst.

"Yes play." She said harshly, "So who are you really?"

"I just told you, I'm the Doctor." I said looking around for any signs of danger, but all I saw was students looking over at me and this strange red hair girl, before going back to work.

"Is that suppose to mean something to me?" She said looking me over. "And what the hell are you wearing?"

I was wearing a very normal outfit that the people of Earth would call a Steam punk suit and top hat with goggles. I even have my time lord watch around my vest.

"Its my clothes aren't they nice?" I asked turning around so she will get the full view of my clothes.

:"Those aren't clothes," she said giggling, "but they do look good on you."

Giving her a big smile and a slight bow, so I decide to ask her name. It wouldn't cause any problems to learn her name right? "Who are you?" I ask simply.

"Allison, Alison is my name and according to you, your name is the Doctor?"

"Oh Allison is a pretty name, never met anyone with that name." I say happily, "and yes I'm the Doctor."

She just stares at me for a minute, "I can't believe I am even going to ask but Doctor who?"

Laughing a little I reply like I always do. "No who just the Doctor."

"Okayy..." was all she said rolling her eyes. "Well as you can now see we are in middle of rehearsing for a play and you are slightly disturbing us." She said looking towards the stage again.

I look but up to see now all the kids seemed to be watching us. "Can I just stay and watch?" I ask wondering what play they could be working on.

She gives me a little of a confused look before nodding and heading back to work. Oh she was nice I wonder how old she really is. I know she isn't one of the students or maybe she was. About 17 or 18 I could kind of guess. She held herself like a mature adult that everyone could come to with their problems, but there was something else, I don't know what it is but she seemed to have a fun side. Maybe it was her carefree smile or the way the other students talked and joked with her.

**Hey guys I am hoping you are enjoying this as much as I am. Give me your thoughts and feelings and if you want to give me a villain to write about that would be wonderful. I am having trouble coming up with the enemy they will face for the first time. So give me a shout if you have a favorite that you want me to write about.**


	3. Nothing ever goes as planned

Its been about...two weeks?...two years?...two hundred years?! I could never really keep track since I...well...travel in a time machine that I live in!... I don't get out much... I really should do that...Wait...oh yes I saying that it has been awhile since I last saw...Allison...She did help me defeat the cybermen with great bravery and yet I find myself missing her company. Nothing big just a friend to talk to...a...what was the word I called them?...COMPANIONS! Yes that's it, companions. She wasn't like my last companion...she was...she seemed very...trustworthy. No! I must not go back to that dreadful planet Earth again! Its messing with my head. I been traveling to long by myself I think.

"What do you think old girl?" I ask my always faithful friend.

Silence reaches my ears like it always does and I move on to flipping switches and trying to figure out where I want to go again when suddenly a loud bang sounded from outside my ship. What and the blazes is going on? I'm in space...SPACE... there is no sound here! I ran to my screen and switched it on to view the outside when once again a bang sounded, but this time my ship was hit.

"NO NO NO!" I shouted running around trying to get her back on course and my shields up. "Come on old girl don't fail me now!"

Soon I was over ran by bangs and hits. I don't know who they are or what they want, but what i do know is that I need to land now or I will crash. Great what a lovely day for a crash!

"I need coordinates...I got to think...think think.." I say in a rush. "Oh! I got it!" I rush over and quickly push in the first numbers that i know would take me somewhere safe, but I was to late. By the time i pushed in the coordinates the last laser hit causing my ship to spin out of control and crash land in the forever familiar London... Yes this is definitely my lucky day.. NOT!

Everything is black...what happened? Why does my head hurt? Am I dead? No if I was dead I wouldn't be feeling this way. I feel around, something very solf is underneith me and above me, blankets? Oh! I'm on a bed covered up. Good that makes me feel safe. Wait! Where am I at? I peek out from underneith one of my eye lids to see her again.

"Allison?" I say stupidly. "What how did I get here and why are you here?"

She jumps at the sudeden sound of my voice. "Oh thank God you are live!" She says taking a deep breath of air.

"Yes I am alive." I mumble, it is way to easy to just let me die. NO! I must not think that way!

"Good so I can do this then." She slaps my arm quite hard.

"Ow!" I whine rubbing the spot where she just hit. "I really hope you don't treat everyone that you bring injured into your home like this."

"YOU ARE NOT INJURED!" She shouted, "YOU ARE NOT EVEN WOUNDED! YOU JUST SHOWED UP ALL RAGGED AT MY DOORSTEP. HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE I LIVED?"

"I-" I try to explain but she cuts me off.

"I meet you once and you seem to know a lot about me!" She whispers darkly. "So you better start explaining now!"

"I was about to start explaining when you cut me off." I say slightly irritated as I rub my head and sit up. "No Allison I didn't know where you lived-and before you protest that idea." I say quickly because she had every reason to interrupt me. "I have a question."

She waits a second before saying. "What question?"

"How did I end up on your doorstep?"

"I don't know you walked?" She says getting more and more irritated as time went on. "You knocked on my door looking like rubbish and you passed out."

"And you where not concurred enough to call a doctor or the police?" I asked trying to get to the bottom of why I'm not in some hospital or under arrested or being pushed through a laboratory because of the fact I have two hearts.

"I-I well...you see...I just had a feeling I shouldn't I mean... I don't know, but I know that I will call the police if you try anything funny!"

"You are ever so sweet Allison." I say smiling, she is smart.

"Shut up," she retorts back with a smile. "I'm not done with being mad at you."

"Why would you be mad? I'm back like I said I would."

"Oh yeah showing up randomly on my doorstep is the best way to come back. ITS BEEN 5 YEARS!" She shouts that last part and me and turns her back to me.

"Allison I did tell you it might be a while and I am sorry I scared you a few minutes ago I honestly didn't know I would end up looking like I did and I didn't know I would be showing up at your house," I rub my face the exhaustion is starting to creep up on me. "I swear I just put in random coordination's when they hit me off course."

She turns back to me with concern, anger for the moment gone. "Do you know what hit you?"

"No, no I do not Allison, but I will find out, I always find out even if I don't really want to know or care."

"Allison I have another question."

She signs and says, "What is it?"

"Do you happen to know what happed to the T.A.R.D.I.S?"

She shakes her head looking sad. "No Doctor I do not know where she is at."

I jump out of the bed only causing to me to fall back down in the sitting position. "Woops," I say with a laugh when Allison gets up to catch me. "Got up to fast."

"Doctor I really think-"

"No!" I say a little to loudly. "Sorry, I mean I really should find her, who knows what could happen to her when she is so unprotected."

"Well I am coming with you!" She says as she follows me out the door, but when I stop to protest her she cuts me off. "Shut up, I am coming with you no matter what, I have seen one creature you fight on a daily basis and I am not letting you go out on your own when you don't even know what is after you and that is that!"

I start to explain that it could be to dangerous when I can tell that it would be a lost cause. So instead I nod and turn to leave trying to find my more and likely broken ship.

It took more then two hours to find her. She was half inside a small duck pond, lucky for me the doors where closed and sticking out of the water.

"Give me about 5 minutes to get inside and make sure everything is safe so I can move her out of this muck." I say looking over her exterior.

"No wonder she was so easily brought down." Allison says shaking her head. "She is TINY!" She starts to laugh.

"Hey!" I protest, "She is not tiny and she is hurt! This is not the time to be laughing!"

Slowly she starts to sober up when she says sorry but there is still laugher ringing in her voice.

She watches me climb in and fall inside. When I get in the T.A.R.D.I.S makes the gravity upright from me so I can walk around on the floor. (You would not believe how hard it is to get foot prints off the roof.) Everything surprisingly looks okay. A couple of broken wires and switches, I go over and check the engines, yup everything is okay. So I deiced to move her out of the little duck pond.

I open the doors to see Allison running over to me.

"How and the hell did it do that?" She asks in shock and awe.

"She flew," I say with a smile blocking her peeking eyes from viewing the inside just yet. "That's how she flies."

"She? Her? You act like it is alive." She says temporally forgetting about the fact that a police box just materialized from its previous spot to a bran new one.

"Well she is alive!" I say happily. "She been with me for a very long time."

"That doesn't make a machine alive," she snickers, "it just makes the pilot mad."

"I am very mad." I say with a little laughter, but sobering up to ask her very seriously, "would you like to see the inside?"

"See the inside?" She starts to laugh. "Its tiny Doctor. I think I could open the other door and see the whole thing in 5 seconds."

"Okay then." I say with a slight whimper, "I guess I will just go inside this tiny box and leave."

"Oh no you don't!" She shouts after me when I quickly close the door only a bit so she could still get in. I walk over to the console and wait.

"Doctor I mean it you better not-" She trails off..."What?" She says in complete awe. "What is this place?" she asks looking around trying to take in everything little detail. I smile soon she will be running back out.

"She is called the T.A.R.D.I.S. and she is my ship. Do you like?"

She just stares at me then runs back outside then back in a couple of times saying 'impossible' and 'this madness, utter madness' before finally running up to the console and me looking me straight in the eye and mouthed 'its bigger on the inside.'

"I'm sorry Allison dear I couldn't hear you." I say putting my cupping my hand around my ear when she yells "Its bigger on the inside!"

"Really now? Are you sure? Because a few minutes ago you were saying she was tiny."

"Oh shut up! How does this even work?"

"Its long and boring explanation how about a trip instead?" I say avoiding the question.

"Go where?" She asks looking around the large room that had my language written all over the walls and above our heads on the gears.

I look up in thought when I remember back to a time when I used these words to make a little someone smile with joy. "Any where you like."


End file.
